OMG this is the funniest thing ever: telemarker prank

http://howtoprankatelemarketer.ytmnd.com/

We get high in back seats of cars...

Recently several of my favorite things have come together...

"A Night at the Roxbury" was briefly talked about on the supersized episode of "The Office". I love that show, and I love that movie (Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan crack me up)!

I was also recently watching cars, and was surprised to hear Tom and Ray Magliozzi as the voices of the Rust-eze brothers. Tom and Ray are the guys from the radio show "Car Talk", which you can hear on NPR. I know what you might be thinking: "Car talk? Are you kidding me?" But seriously - even if you don't know anything about cars, don't want to know anything about cars, and even if you don't DRIVE a car - Tom and Ray are HILARIOUS. If you're ever listening to the radio on a Sat or Sunday afternoon tune in to their show on NPR and you will not regret it.

This past week's episode of CSI NY featured music by Damien Rice.

The movie "Stranger Than Fiction", starring Will Ferrell, opened with an instrumental of the song "The Way We Get By" (the first line of the song is "we get high in back seats of cars"), by Spoon. Good movie too, by the way. :)



And no, I dont watch much tv or movies. :P

Who dunnit? Who is the office Diet Coke bandit?

In my office there is a Diet Coke bandit. A mischievous scoundrel who will drink the last Diet Coke in the fridge without putting another 6 or 12 cans in to cool.

I'm obviously not the bandit. G, O and Er are not the bandit because they were out of town at the time of several incidents. J is not the bandit, because I happen to know that he drinks Diet Pepsi almost exclusively, plus he is helping me with this investigation. H always drinks some freaky flavored or mineral waters. S is ruled out because I see everything he drinks.

That leaves just 7 suspects: An, Am, T, M, Chr, Cha, and E.

An is always considerate.
T, M, and E, I have no clue.
Am and Chr are quiet and sneaky, like ninjas, these are two of the prime suspects.
Cha is always forgetful, and is one of the prime suspects.

More clues to follow, or submit your own. :)

5k's

Sept 9, Run for Life in Raleigh - 28:21
(btw - I'm pro-choice, I didn't realize what this race was for when I signed up)

Oct 1, Second Empire Classic 5k in Raleigh - 28:07

Nov 18, Apex Turkey Trot - 27:51

Dec 9, Reindeer Romp in Charlotte - 46:01.
(Yes, you read that right. I tied with my soon to be 9 year old niece!)

If I worked at McDonalds...

There's a guy I work with that talks to me like I'm the biggest moron he's ever met. Sadly, I happen to think he's a few cards short of a full deck himself. If we worked at McDonalds, here's how a conversation between the two of us might go:

Me: Guy, a customer is complaining that there were no pickles on his Big Mac.

Guy: No pickles? You sure?

Me: Well, let me see...

[I pick up a freshly made Big Mac...]

Me: Yup, no pickles on this one either.

Guy: You sure?

Me: Yes, look...see for yourself.

Guy: Well, let me explain. Are you familiar with ... have you ever had a Big Mac?

Me: ... Yes, I've had a Big Mac. And I'm also aware of the fact that it consists of two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Guy: Uh huh...Well, why don't you just leave this to the big boys, ok? I'll take a look at it and get back to you later.

[3 hours later]

Guy: Hey...you know what the problem with that Big Mac was?

Me: Uh, yeah...there were no pickles!

Guy: Well, not exactly. See what it really is - is brined cucumber.

Grilled Cheese has no personality

Plain old grilled Cheese has no personality. It needs something extra to give it a kick in the pants to make it worthy of being eaten. Some horseradish cheddar does the trick for me. But if you really want to bring your grilled cheese sandwich to life, throw a layer of jalepenos and ground black pepper in the middle of the cheese. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Running in November

Wow, what weather. I don't know if more perfect weather exists than what we had today. Today in the 75+ degree temp I went for a run. I set a new personal distance record of 6 (slow) miles, and it felt great!

My goal was 4 miles. At 3.5 I decided to make it 5. At 4 I decided to go for 6! When I hit 5 miles, which I've only done a few times before, I wasn't sure if I could make it another mile, but I was determined.

Now I just have to be able to run 4 times as far as I did today and I'll be blogging about my first marathon!

Funeral

I dig this song by Susan Greenbaum, called Funeral.

I walk in executive footwear
my suits range from navy to gray
I'm king of the long cold hard stare
and I never mean a word I say

I dine with my digital pager
and I sleep with my cellular phone
everyone I work with is willin to wager
I'm gonna die at my desk alone

No one will go to my funeral
no one will care when I die
no one will go to my funeral
and no one will even cry

I hate when the sky turns sunny
I wont waste my time being kind
I don't do charity honey
but I'll gladly give you a piece of my mind

you'll do, what I tell you to do
you'll jump when I tell you how high
I'll spit you out after I chew
I'm not sharin my piece of the pie

office in the corner
not a single mourner
something something baskets [I can't figure out this line]
solid cherry casket
status: no apologies
60 second eulogy
titled on a business card
buried in a lumber yard

I'll mess with the beat of your heart
and I'll make you much more than afraid
I'll smile on the die that you start
then I'll make you so sorry you stayed

I live for the power and money
and I eat other people for lunch
I don't find anything funny
now I'm startin to have a hunch that

No one will go to my funeral
no one will care when I die
no one will go to my funeral
no one will even cry

I know I take more than I'm given
I know more than I'm gonna tell
I know that its good to be driven
I'm gonna drive myself straight to hell

dearly beloved, we are gathered here to remember this fine fine person
dearly beloved, we are gathered here to remember this ridiculous piece of drek

Voting

There are lots of things about politics that just plain piss me off. Maybe the biggest issues for me are the lack of term limits in certain offices and campaign finance corruption.

Lately I was thinking about this past vote, and I had a thought (which remains undeveloped, as most of my thoughts do :P).

When we go to the polls, we all (usually) stand in line waiting to get in. Once we're in, I'm afraid that lots of people vote for everything they can vote for, even if they are not familiar with the issues surrounding each particular race. This annoys me. What annoys me even more are the people who just blindly vote a particular party.

So here's my idea:

Even though it would take longer to vote, and would perhaps lower the number of people who do actually vote in some races, I think there should be a different line for all the different sections of the ballot. Presidential and US congressional races in one line, state house and senate races in another line, judicial races in another line, local bonds in another, and so on.

Lots of people go to the polls to vote only for the president, but end up casting votes for other offices that they have no interest in or information about. Its an ignorant vote that can only hurt. If you have such an interest in a particular race that you're willing to stand in line for it, its more likely that you will make a more informed vote.

NY Times says Iraq WAS making a nuke

NYTimes: "Among the dozens of documents in English were Iraqi reports written in the 1990s and in 2002 ... Experts say that at the time, Mr. Hussein’s scientists were on the verge of building an atom bomb, as little as a year away."

But I thought the NYTimes told us that Bush lied to us about all this?

The National Review has a quote that made me laugh: "In other news, it's good to see that the New York Times is firmly against publicizing sensitive and classified information. Unless, of course, they're the ones doing it."

Beck - "Clap Hands" performance on the most recent episode of SNL

Beck - "Clap Hands" performance on the most recent episode of SNL. Simply an amazing performance, maybe the most enjoyable performance I've ever seen on Saturday Night Live (except maybe the one where Ashley Simpson got busted lip synching which was just hilarious).

In this show, the band is playing a set dinner table instead of their regular instruments.

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