Conversational Mockery

(03:36) lancer: ok
(03:37) jamesn: Did you mean: OK...
(03:37) lancer: yep
(03:38) jamesn: The ellipses are crucial
(03:38) jamesn: See more in Chapter 7 of James' Guide to Conversational Mockery

Haiku-speak

There's a local Raleigh guy who is twittering in all haikus. What started as a simple joke turned into a nerd-fest. By the way, I wouldn't bother reading any of this unless you are completely bored beyond hope of any possible entertainment in the next 4 months:

(11:12) lancer: you know what is fun? when i'm messaging to you, writing in haiku

(11:12) jamesn: Like the driving rain

(11:13) jamesn: Waves that crash against the shore

(11:13) jamesn: You're breaking my balls

...

(11:14) lancer: hey, wait a minute, you cant try to be like me, I am haiku man

(11:15) jamesn: I'm really quite good

(11:15) jamesn: At creating great haikus

(11:15) jamesn: from random bullshit

...

(11:18) jamesn: I think I want beer

(11:18) jamesn: For lunch, maybe, whatever

(11:18) jamesn: No, I NEED some beer

...

(11:26) lancer: I cant wait for beach, much great beer I will drink up, please fill up my cup

(11:27) charless: I refuse to join you in this.

(11:28) lancer: you are just jealous, you probly cant count that low, I still like you though

(11:29) charless: carry to the beach. plastic cups and salt so sweet. drunk from noon to night

(11:30) jamesn: Tequila is shit

(11:30) jamesn: I prefer beer from a keg

(11:30) jamesn: Like men with balls do.

(11:31) jamesn: Holy fucking shit

(11:32) jamesn: This is like the tenth haiku

(11:32) jamesn: I've done in a row

(11:32) jamesn: You need to blog this

(11:33) lancer: its out of control, we may have to get you help, for your crap haikus

(11:33) jamesn: Because at this fucking point

(11:33) jamesn: it's automatic

(11:33) lancer: I will do that now, in conversations with james, we are so stupid

(11:49) lancer: (11:31:05 AM) ChopperCharles: ugh Lance has started, an annoying haiku war, want to kill him now.

(11:43) lancer: haha thats funny, who did you send that line to? did they roll their eyes?

(11:44) charless: I sent it to chris, he started a long reply, but never sent it.

(11:45) lancer: chris is still counting, I bet his heads hurting now, too much computing

(11:46) charless: ARRRG STOP THIS MADNESS! I am going insane man, you're driving me nuts.

(11:47) lancer: you have to ignore, from now on all my replies, will be in this style

(11:48) charless: I am weeping now. Will this horror never end? I just want to work.

No, not really

(03:29) lancer: wow "Hispanics, who make up about 15 percent of the population today, will account for 30 percent in 2050, according to the new projections."

(03:29) lancer: "The population 85 and older is projected to more than triple by 2050, to 19 million."

(03:29) lancer: holy shit

(03:30) jamesn: Lou Dobbs warned us

(03:31) jamesn: I have seriously considered learning Spanish recently

(03:31) jamesn: and volunteering to teach English

(03:31) lancer: well the solution is clear

(03:31) lancer: white people must begin having as many babies as possible, even if they are uncared for or placed on welfare.

(03:32) jamesn: I guess we'd better hit the clubs after work

(03:32) lancer: ok

Car Alarms

[11:41] jamesn: I want an alarm for my car that starts blaring sirens and says "WARNING: SOME JACKASS HAS SET OFF HIS CAR ALARM! WARNING: SOME JACKASS HAS SET OFF HIS CAR ALARM!"
[11:41] jamesn: Then when I can turn it on when someone else's siren is going
[11:41] jamesn: And when I turn it off, instead of chirping, it will say "THANK YOU, JACKASS"

When people say they are done...what do they mean?

Ok, so this isn't a conversation with James...but its still funny.

(04:21) lancer: he is "done"
(04:21) lancer: if you know what I mean
(04:21) spencerb: ok so like 2 months
(04:21) spencerb: got it

UPS Online Tools

I've been messing with the UPS Online Tools - tools that software developers could use to write applications that take advantage of UPS data such as shipment costs, tracking, and address verification. I say could, because UPS makes it so difficult to do anything you practically have to sign over a kidney. I thought it was funny that UPS has trademarked the color brown.

Brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown, brown! Neener neener. Brown!

(03:18) lancer: Note:
UPS, the UPS Shield trademark, the UPS Ready mark, the UPS OnLine® Tools mark and the Color Brown are trademarks of United Parcel Service of America, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

(03:20) jamesn: UPS HitCreek is their developer integration program. Is that trademarked?

Audible doesn't have Watership Down

A short conversation with James:

(03:07) lancer: hmm...audible doesn't have watership down
(03:07) lancer: or anything from that author
(03:07) jamesn: Do they have "Fucking Travesty, the Book"?
(03:08) jamesn: Or "Why we should not be in business?" By A. Audible Jackass?