Wakeboarding

I am the proud owner of a new wakeboard.

board: msrp 399.99

bindings: msrp $329.99

I paid $150 total for both. Nice!

Haiku-speak

There's a local Raleigh guy who is twittering in all haikus. What started as a simple joke turned into a nerd-fest. By the way, I wouldn't bother reading any of this unless you are completely bored beyond hope of any possible entertainment in the next 4 months:

(11:12) lancer: you know what is fun? when i'm messaging to you, writing in haiku

(11:12) jamesn: Like the driving rain

(11:13) jamesn: Waves that crash against the shore

(11:13) jamesn: You're breaking my balls

...

(11:14) lancer: hey, wait a minute, you cant try to be like me, I am haiku man

(11:15) jamesn: I'm really quite good

(11:15) jamesn: At creating great haikus

(11:15) jamesn: from random bullshit

...

(11:18) jamesn: I think I want beer

(11:18) jamesn: For lunch, maybe, whatever

(11:18) jamesn: No, I NEED some beer

...

(11:26) lancer: I cant wait for beach, much great beer I will drink up, please fill up my cup

(11:27) charless: I refuse to join you in this.

(11:28) lancer: you are just jealous, you probly cant count that low, I still like you though

(11:29) charless: carry to the beach. plastic cups and salt so sweet. drunk from noon to night

(11:30) jamesn: Tequila is shit

(11:30) jamesn: I prefer beer from a keg

(11:30) jamesn: Like men with balls do.

(11:31) jamesn: Holy fucking shit

(11:32) jamesn: This is like the tenth haiku

(11:32) jamesn: I've done in a row

(11:32) jamesn: You need to blog this

(11:33) lancer: its out of control, we may have to get you help, for your crap haikus

(11:33) jamesn: Because at this fucking point

(11:33) jamesn: it's automatic

(11:33) lancer: I will do that now, in conversations with james, we are so stupid

(11:49) lancer: (11:31:05 AM) ChopperCharles: ugh Lance has started, an annoying haiku war, want to kill him now.

(11:43) lancer: haha thats funny, who did you send that line to? did they roll their eyes?

(11:44) charless: I sent it to chris, he started a long reply, but never sent it.

(11:45) lancer: chris is still counting, I bet his heads hurting now, too much computing

(11:46) charless: ARRRG STOP THIS MADNESS! I am going insane man, you're driving me nuts.

(11:47) lancer: you have to ignore, from now on all my replies, will be in this style

(11:48) charless: I am weeping now. Will this horror never end? I just want to work.

No, not really

(03:29) lancer: wow "Hispanics, who make up about 15 percent of the population today, will account for 30 percent in 2050, according to the new projections."

(03:29) lancer: "The population 85 and older is projected to more than triple by 2050, to 19 million."

(03:29) lancer: holy shit

(03:30) jamesn: Lou Dobbs warned us

(03:31) jamesn: I have seriously considered learning Spanish recently

(03:31) jamesn: and volunteering to teach English

(03:31) lancer: well the solution is clear

(03:31) lancer: white people must begin having as many babies as possible, even if they are uncared for or placed on welfare.

(03:32) jamesn: I guess we'd better hit the clubs after work

(03:32) lancer: ok

Triathlon Pics

There are 12 pictures of me from the Triathlon. Looking at them, I noticed that I make a lot of weird faces...mostly looking very much in pain. I should probably work on that huh? If I want to get the digitals, it would cost me $336. Can you believe that? Jeez. It might have been less insulting if they just spit on me during the race as I ran past.

For all your ridiculously over-priced photography needs, visit fotojack.com. Yay for them. I emailed them to see if they'd give me a better offer, we shall see what they said. As you can tell from the pictures, it was raining during the race, so those poor photographers did have to stand out in the rain all day.

Triathlon Time!

So, today was the triathlon at UNC Wellness Center. This was my first one, and it was a "Super Sprint Triathlon", which basically means that the distances are shorter so that you can sprint through each. Of course, i can't sprint through each, so to me "Super Sprint" just means "Super Short". :) It was a 250 yard swim, followed by a 9 mile bike ride, and finally a 5k run.

How did I do? Well, I am glad to have done it, proud of myself, yet at the same time a little disappointed that I didn't go harder. I think I had more in me than I realized. I wanted to take it easy on the run part because I was a little paranoid about working my ankle too hard so soon after my injury. Enough excuses, here's how I did:

I swam the 250 yards in 4:11, that was the 6th fastest in my age group. The swim was the part I was most worried about just because of lack of experience. I used to swim all the time as a kid before I left for college, but since then I've only swam laps a handful of times. I went out and swam laps twice before the race and did ok. Anyway...I'm very excited about my time because that included an unnecessary pause between laps to allow the people I'd caught to get a little distance on me so I wouldn't have to pass them! Next time I will go harder and just pass them!

The bike was a biiiiiiiiitch. So...one more excuse: I was on a little cheapo Target mountain bike, not a road bike. With the blessing of my friend Nicole, who convinced me to do this race in the first place, I'd like to blame my bike time on that. It took me 43:18 to do the 9 miles. The bike ride was a bit demoralizing because I'd be in my lowest gear peddling as fast as I could, and road bikers were passing me like crazy going twice my speed and barely peddling at all! Needless to say, I dropped from 6th fastest in my age group down to 17th (out of 18!) pretty quickly.

The run was the weirdest part. When I got off the bike, it took me a bit to get my land legs back, and when I did it was not pretty. First of all, during the swim the rain was pouring down outside, completely soaking my towel, socks, and shoes. This didn't cause any discomfort on the bike ride but during the run it was just *squish* *squish* *squish* *squish*. Very odd. Then, uselessly trying to peddle faster to keep up with the road bikes took a toll on my shins and ankles, and running hurt a bit at first. This is where the little bit of disappointment I have comes into play. I pretty much resigned myslef, because of the sore muscles and the ankle injury to just run really slow. I didn't realize I could do more until the last little stretch of the run where I sprinted to the finish. After the sprint I thought I was stupid for not going harder during the run, which took me a dismal 34:16.

So my overall time was 1:25:39. When I got home I got back in bed. ;)

Next time, if I can borrow someones road bike for this race, I want to see if I can knock 15 minutes off my total time (I figure I'll be able to knock 20 seconds or so off my swim time [maybe more if I train properly], bike faster and with less effort, and run faster with less pain and discomfort after the bike ride) my goal time will be 1:10:00.

Nerdiness

Background: "Sam" is an intern in the office who happens to wear a pair of blue socks with that rolling stones tongue-out-the-mouth logo about 3 times a week.

(04:44) lancer: sam must have many pairs of those rolling stones socks
(04:44) lancer: samwise
(04:45) jamesn: I am not checking out his socks
(04:45) jamesn: But any LOTR reference is awesome
(04:46) jamesn: I say LOTR because that's what the cool kids call it
(04:46) lancer: and its faster to type
(04:46) lancer: kinda like HPATGOF
(04:46) jamesn: I am dissapointed to have figured that out
(04:47) lancer: no you aren't
(04:47) lancer: you're proud
(04:47) jamesn: But, yes, may fantasy buffs have missed opportunities to shed teir virginity in typing out the ludicrous names of their favorite pasttimes
(04:51) lancer: speaking of, the 3rd of the only 4 part trilogy I know of is oming out soon! First there was E, then there was E, and now there is B!
(04:52) jamesn: ...
(04:52) jamesn: I'm trying to remember the name of the book that comes after Eragon
(04:52) lancer: :)
(04:52) lancer: we are truly nerds
(04:52) lancer: of course I already pre-ordered B
(04:53) jamesn: am I right?
(04:53) lancer: yes
(04:53) jamesn: Do I have nerd intuition?
(04:53) lancer: not if you can't figure out the 2nd one
(04:53) jamesn: Wow. I am proud and ashamed of myself.
(04:53) jamesn: I am proud for having leapt to that conclusion first
(04:53) lancer: yeah, you shouldn't repeat this to anyone :)

Glossary: LOTR = Lord of the Rings
HPATGOF = Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
E = Eragon
E = Eldest
B = Brisngr
Christopher Paolini = the author of E, E, and B.

Cholesteroni

Years ago, back when I was a fattard (thats a slow fat person), the doc said my cholesterol was so bad that if I didn't lower it he'd put me on medication. Back then it was like 250 or 260 or something, which basically meant that it was surprising I didn't have a heart attack on the way to the shower in the morning.

Of course now I am a much healthier (and happier) person. My cholesterol has been at good levels for many years now, but now my cholesterol is at an all time optimal level.

my total: 170
- less than 200 = desirable
- 200-239 = borderline-highrisk
- > 240 = lose the remote, fatty

my tri: 65
- less than 150 mg/dL = normal
- 150–199 = borderline-high
- 200-499=high
- greater than 500 = holy crap, put down the damn cheeseburger!

my hdl: 69
- greater than 60 = rock on baby
- less than 40/50 [male/female] = lay off the fast food chunky butt

my ldl: 97 (< 100 = optimal, 100-129=normal, 130-159= borderline, > 160=high, > 190=you bleed crisco)

Fo mo info like dis: American Heart Association.

New Stuff on the Home Front

On the home front:

I’m planning on trying some triathlon events, although I really would prefer to try some adventure racing instead.  First I’m going to start with a tiny little super sprint triathlon, where the distances are very short.  First I have to wait for my ankle to get healed though, but the swimming part will be the only tough leg for me so I can train for that even with the injury (for those who don’t know, I took a bad sprain playing volleyball about 5 weeks ago).  I’m also planning on my first half marathon in November.  I need to get to work training for this one ASAP if I am going to make it.  I’m sure that I’m out of shape since I haven’t done any running in the last 5 weeks.  For now swimming and mountain biking will be the bulk of my exercise.  Got any good advice for me?

I have recently enjoyed live performances of Iris Dement, The Bowerbirds, and Tom Petty.  I love live music!  We also went to see Dave Attell, who was absolutely freakin’ hilarious!  I went to all of these with someone I met recently, and I’m having a blast spending time with her.

My friends keep making fun of me because I have it in my head that I want to buy a 2009 Toyota Prius.  I don’t think the Prius body style is as lame as they say, but for all that mpg I don’t really care either.  Right now I drive a 2002 F-150 gas guzzler, which has its uses of course…but also has its hefty gas price tag.  Maybe I’ll keep it too and just park it most of the time.  Maybe whatever gas money I save on a new hybrid I can throw into buying a boat!  Thats not exactly a step in the carbon-neutral direction, huh?  Everytime I drive over the lakes around the area I am so completely jealous of those people I see riding their waverunners, skiing, wakeboarding, etc.  I want to get out there, but a ski boat is a big chunk of money to drop.  Is it worth it?

Its almost time to go white water rafting!  Can't wait for that!  :P  Then I want to learn how to do some river kayaking.

Iris Dement, The Bowerbirds

A few weekends ago I went to see a couple shows with Lauren.

One was Iris Dement, who thought it would be a good idea to wear a country picnic tablecloth dress. You know, those checkerboard ones? Nice. Between songs she talked like she was stoned out of her gourd and about to pass out, but she sang beautifully. Favorite quote (said in a total stoner voice): "my fingers are sticking to the keys...". I took some video on cell phone, but they are so tiny they aren't worth uploading. The guy that opened for her was so boring that I forgot his name. I did recognize him as soon as we walked in though - he is the guitarist for John Prine. For somebody who has been entertaining for so long, he really needs to work on his stage presence and his conversation between songs. Good voice, but some of the songs he played were a little too silly for my taste. Lots of old people at this show. Every once in a while I would nudge Lauren and say "hey look, there are some young people ", pointing at some people without gray hair. Here's a clip of my favorite Iris song, which is actually a duet with John Prine. If you know my taste in music, you can probably already guess that its a bit out there.

We also went to see The Bowerbirds at Duke Gardens. These people were really good. The lead singer reminded me a bit of Damien Rice. Their instruments were unique too - of course the rhythm guitar, but also an auto harp, an accordion, and a big bass drum. I wish the girl in the group had done more singing, her voice was really nice too. Lots of hippies at this show. Once I nudged Lauren and said, "hey look, an old person". It stormed during this show, and we sat on the grass in the rain and got soaked!

Awesome weekend

I wanted to share this past weekend, it was so much fun. It started Thursday night - Lauren and I sat on a blanket in the grass at Koka Booth Amphitheater with some sandwiches and a bottle of wine, watching "Twilight Zone: The Movie". Turns out the movie was not so hot, but it was still a great time. We definitely had a great Thursday night. :)

Friday night a group of us went to see Dave Attell at Charlie Goodnight's. I'm pretty sure that this was the best show I've seen at Goodnight's, and I've been to a lot of them. To sum it up, every single time I took a sip of my drink I was concerned about whether or not I'd be able to swallow it before he made me laugh again! If you get a chance to see this guy live, I'd definitely recommend it.

Saturday morning I woke up bright and early. I did not want to leave the comfy bed I was in, but bbq demanded it. I smoked 4 pork shoulders and also made 4 racks of babyback ribs, baked beans, and slaw. Lauren brought fruit and jalapeno cornbread, Blake brought macaroons, James brought cupcakes, and everybody else brought a boatload of beer. Despite the fact that weather forecasters in NC are hopeless in the summertime, I was worried about the threat of rain all day. Checkout this picture of my ghettofied back patio, protecting the smoker and grills from rain. Turns out the last 30 minutes or so had pouring rain, and probably wouldn't have effected the cooking anyway!

Sunday, after spending the morning cleaning up after my shockingly well behaved friends, it was time for a little adventure. Mountain biking on some insane trails on the backside of Lake Crabtree park, followed by Kayaking with Tom. I thought it would be a little tougher than it was, but it could still be a good upper body workout if I wanted it to be. We had so much fun that both of us have threatened to buy our own kayaks. I'll have to make more room in the garage!

I haven't seen "Dark Knight" yet, but I can't wait to. Apparently it is playing at the IMAX, so I'm hoping to catch it there!